If you ever leave me
by BlueJaquesPJO
Summary: A love story between Harry.P and Draco.M. Post war. 8th year. Mild language. Wouldn't it be cool if people actually read this? The picture is not mine, it belongs to this website called mundoyaoi but... yeah so I'm gonna say this is my crediting.
1. Up on the roof

**Harry**

I'm sitting on my bed, contemplating what to do when I hear pecking on the window. I open the window and an owl swoops in. The owl is grey, with green eyes similar to mine. The owl starts yanking on the string holding the letter to its leg and squawking impatiently. I start to untie it, not before getting bitten. I take the parchment from the owl and the owl flies away through the open window and heads west. I close the window and open the parchment. It reads;

'Potter, join me on the quidditch field. And don't be late.'

I grin and stare into the sunset. I can only guess who this letter is from. Over the summer Malfoy and I had a lot of time together, due to not having families to go home to. We got over our differences and played a lot of quittich. Now that the year had started again, free time was a luxury, and we spent most of it together.

I grab my broom and sprint down the empty corridors towards the pitch while pulling on my winter cloak. I make it outside just as the sun had finished setting. It's dark, but I can still make out the blonde's figure.

"Malfoy!" I call out.

"Yes, Potter."

He says my name spitefully as if it's some kind of deadly virus no one wants to get. I scowl. I didn't want him to _like_ me, but I didn't want him to _Hate_ me either. He mounts his broom and takes a small golden ball out of his pocket. As soon as he lets it go, It immediately begins buzzing away. Malfoy and I stare at each other for a split second, before racing off after the snitch. Neither of us so much as look at the snitch for forty minutes or so. We are dismounting, when out of the corner of my eye I see it right behind the Hufflepuff section. Unfortunately, so does Malfoy. We both chase the ball around the pitch before spying it next to the castle. We race after it, but mid-flight, I run into him. He topples off his broom and falls for a split second before landing on the roof of the tower.

"Ow," He exclaims in agony.

I watch as his broom falls all the way to the earth and breaks in half. I snicker and fly down to the point where I'm hovering over him.

"Here," I tell him and reach out my hand.

"Thanks"

He grabs my hand, but rather than pulling himself onto my broom, he pulls me down next to him, and my broom falls. I Glare at him and push him slightly so he's almost off the roof.

"This is all your fault!" I exclaim. He pushes me harder and I grab the edge of the roof to stop myself from falling. I pull myself back up and strike his shoulder.

" _You_ knocked me off my broom! Its your fault we're stuck" He exclaims angerly

"Well yo-"

"Shut up" he interrupts.

"Make me" I smirk.

He grabs the back of my collar and crashes his lips to mine. I am in shock.

"You just...did we…" He presses one finger to my lips and I stop.

"You said make me" He exclaims. "And I did!"

With that, he descends onto a ledge below us.

"C'mon," He says and lowers himself in through an open window. I follow in his footsteps. We sneak down the dark corridors and stop at a staircase. We quickly glance at each other before going our own ways. I fall asleep in the common room across from the unlit fire, dreaming about our kiss.


	2. soap and kisses

this means so much that people have actually read this beta story thing. I hope you enjoy chapter two!

 **Harry**

I feel pressure on my knees and groggily look up to see a red-haired girl sitting on them.

"Ginny?" I ask.

She kisses me delicately on the forehead and pushes herself up. She brushes her clothes down and looks down at her watch

"Class starts in-" She pauses "45 seconds" She kisses my nose before running out of the room.

I try to go back to sleep but realize it's no use. I roll off the couch and spend about a minute laying on the floor. I get up to take a shower. By the time I'm ready my first class is half over based on the time. I grab my broom and head down to the pitch. Even Filch doesn't bother me anymore. He acts like I'm a celebrity too. My first class is quittich, or teaching first-years to fly. Malfoy, Ron, and I are the only "teachers" here. We teach a handful of Griffindors and Slytherins along with one unlucky Hufflepuff named Molly. Today's lesson is broom care.

I slide right in next to Ron and pick up the soap. I pour it on a rag and start to rub it all over my broom. I feel someone's eyes on me and look up. I catch Malfoy's gaze and he smirks. I look down and find that the soap bottle spilled all over my shirt. Malfoy takes it as an opportunity to splash water on me. My shirt starts to bubble and I spray Malfoy with a soap bottle. He starts running and I chase after him, ignoring the looks of surprise from behind me. I attempt to spray him with soap but he's too fast. I chase him all the way to the lake, as he stops and bursts out laughing. We stand in silence staring at each other. He leans in and so do I. Right before we kiss I spray him with soap and he gasps.

"How rude of you Mister Potter." He exclaims.

I shrug as he chases me all the way back. By the time we get back, all the students have left. We gather our belongings despite Ron's protests for our help and get the hell out of there. Was he actually going to kiss me? Or was that a figure of my imagination. That was almost the second time in two days. I HAVE to ask Pansy about that. The rest of the day goes by in a blur and soon enough dinner has ended. I grab my invisibility cloak and head over to the Slytherin dungeons. I wait outside the entrance until I see Blaise and Pansy. I grab their arms and pull them aside. I take off my cloak and can't help but laugh at the quizzical looks on their faces.

"Can I ask you something?" I say and look around to make sure no one's listening.

"Dunno CAN you," Pansy says snobbishly.

I ignore her rude remark.

"Does Malfoy...Like...Like me?" I ask.

The two glance at each other and burst out laughing.

"I'm guessing that's a no then," I say and start to walk away. Pansy grabs my arm and spins me around.

"Are you an IDIOT?" She says rather loudly. I don't say anything.

"Of course he does!" Blaise exclaims.

"The fact you haven't noticed yet is absurd!" She remarks.

"After all, he's had a crush on you before he realized he was gay, seven years to be exact" Blaise adds.

My mouth falls open.

"Seven years!" I say to myself.

I thank the two for their help and head back to the tower.


	3. The revelation

No one ever talks about how hard it is to add chapters. I hope you enjoy chapter three because if not... Well here

from the awkward expert, shea butter

HARRY

I get up super early to talk to Hermione about said boy. I wait by the girls' dormitory door for who knows how long. Many girls pass by and give me strange looks. Before long all of the girls have left except for Hermione. I check my watch. Breakfast should start in a few minutes. Should I wait for her? No, she obviously has some good reason to be late... Because well, that's Hermione for you. She would never deliberately miss anything school related. I start to head back to my dorm before literally running into Hermione holding a large stack of books. Her books go flying everywhere.

"Sorry 'Mione," I say and start to pick up her books. "I have a, rather important question for you."

"Did something bad happen?" She asks, "I could sense that something bad was happening, seven muggles actually saw Hogwarts-"

I stop collecting her belongings and give her a perplexed look.

"'Mione what the bloody hell are you saying?" I ask worriedly.

"N-ne-never mind, w-what was your question Harry," She says anxiously.

"I was wondering whether Draco likes me, but it seems like there is something more important going on," I say suspiciously and raise one eyebrow.

She looks around nervously before answering with a simple "Why would you think that."

I hand her the last of her many books before following her out of the common room. We mix in with the other students heading towards breakfast and I immediately start to question her once again.

"What was that thing about those muggl-" Hermione clamps her hand over my mouth earning quizzical looks from passer-bys.

"Not here not now," She says sternly. I nod and she removes her hand.

"So what is that about Malfoy?" She says in a fake cheery voice.

"Well..." I had had a plan earlier before receiving the news that the wizarding world was collapsing. Well, I knew Malfoy, being the stubborn irritating git he is, he would never admit to having a crush on me. All I would have to do is take my invisibility cloak, tell the school I'm not feeling well, follow him around, and get evidence that he likes me. Easy as pie. Well, not literally I just happen to be a terrible baker...

"It's really nothing," I say

"What's nothing?" Ron runs up and asks. He is sweaty from early morning practice and tries to kiss Hermione, to only be pushed away, but merely hugs her anyway.  
"Don't I get one too?" I joke.  
"Haha," He says "So what's nothing?"

"I just well, Malfoy likes me," I say, not knowing how to break the news to Ron.

"That's not nothing mate," He says audaciously "You could use this against him"

-  
I grab the Maurders Map and my invisibility cloak.  
"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good," I tell the parchment. It opens to reveal the grounds of Hogwarts, I look for anything important and two names catch my eye, Draco and Ginny, remarkably close to each other, in an abandoned classroom. "Shit," I exclaim.  
I throw on my invisibility cloak and rush out of the dormitory. The corridors are crowded because it's Sunday, and I keep falling into people. I find the classroom and peek inside. I see Ginny and Draco sitting on a desk, they look my way and for a split second I forget that I'm invisible. Draco says something inaudible to Ginny and stands up. He starts to walk out but unfortunately trips over my leg. I sidestep his arm as he tries to feel for whatever he bumped into, but with no luck. I'm already gone, out the door, down the corridor, running, anywhere, I run and run, 'round a corner and up a staircase and stop. This is the place where Dumbledoor died, the tower he jumped from. I sink to my knees and cry. It feels so good to let it all out. I never cry. I'm Harry Potter. The boy who lived. But here I am, bawling my eyes out. I hear footsteps behind me and turn around. There he is Draco Malfoy. He looks me dead in the eyes.  
"Can I help you?" I sniff and wipe the tears out of my eyes. He sits next to me and hugs his knees to his chest. I scoot away from him. He sighs and I cautiously look in his direction,  
"Sorry" He mumbles "About what?"  
"The other night"  
"What happened?" I question.  
"Don't play dumb Potter!" "Can we pretend that didn't happen?" I ask him.  
He looks away and goes silent. I had been wondering how to break the news that I fancy him too but this is never how I had imagined I would do it.  
"I...I like you" I say "Fuck off," he says, stands up and disappears. I slump over, that did not go as I had hoped.


	4. Potions

Thank you for actually reading this crap, and I assure you I will eventually get to Drarry. I promise

Potions the next day is torture, considering Malfoy sits directly behind me. I could feel his eyes on me the whole class, but when I turn around his head is deep in his textbook. The thing is that's not a good disguise, no one actually reads that bull. The teacher dismisses us and I walk gloomily to my next class.

...

The next few days are a blur, I feel like I'm sleepwalking through them. I'm walking glumly down the corridor when I notice a large banner for something called the 'Sadie Hawkins ball'

"Girls ask the boys," Ron says into my ear and sends shivers down my spine. I spin around,

"When did you get there?!" I say startled.

"I scared the savior of the wizarding world," Ron says smugly

"Shut up," I say and push him against the wall

"You're gonna regret that," He informs me

I stare at him confused and he mouths run. I take off with him on my heels. He chases me through the courtyard and past the main doors until he's cornered me. I stop but he doesn't, he runs full force into me and his head makes contact with my stomach, and knocks the wind out of me. I fall down next to a very dizzy Ron. I smile, It feels good, I haven't smiled in days. We lay there for who knows how long on the cold damp stone. The sun starts setting as we walk towards dinner.

"That's exactly what I needed," I say

"I know," Ron says and wraps his arms around me in an embrace.


	5. The dreamer

Draco I'm lying on my bed crying my eyes off. I couldn't help but stare at Harry during potions. Is there something wrong with me? I'm not gay, for sure, definitely, right? Rain starts pounding on the window and I cover my head with my pillow. The rain soothes me, and I fall into a deep sleep. ...  
I'm standing in a meadow surrounded by yellow daffodils. Trees outline the area and the sun is bright overhead. It's the place my parents took me for holiday in fifth year, Netherland. There's a certain raven-haired figure with his back to me. He's wearing muggle clothes, the outfit he wore when we first met. I walk up to him and tap him gingerly on the shoulder. He turns around and pulls me into an embrace. He puts one of his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. A feat I didn't know was possible. Normally I'm not into human contact but It's a dream so I go with it. I stare into his emerald green eyes and he smiles foolishly. The sunlight gleams on his hair and blinds me. He leans in and I'm frozen in place. He delicately places his lips against mine, and I close my eyes. I run my hand through his soft hair, and he pulls away. I open my eyes slowly to see Harry disappeared. Instead, my dad is standing in front of me. He has a plate in hand. The very plate that gave me the scar on my shoulder. I instinctively reach for my wand but it's not there. He winds up and I close my eyes.

I wake up in a puddle of sweat. My sheets are damp and my shirt is soaked through. I stand up and start walking towards my dresser. I take off my pajama shirt and throw it towards the hamper. I go to grab another but end up stuck looking in the mirror. I study myself. With the dark bags under my eyes, it's obvious that I haven't been sleeping well. My skin is abnormally pale, and I'm bone thin. I grab a cloak and slip out of my room. I head towards the quittich pitch not caring if I get caught out of bed. I open the heavy door outside and get blasted with a whiff chilly air. I walk to the center of the pitch and lay down on the damp grass. I look up at the vivid stars and pick out the constellation I was named after. I close my eyes and breathe in the fresh air. 


	6. Secret snogging session

I know! Two chapters in one day! Unheard of. Thanks for the support, over 350 reads. Thank you. I promise there's Drarry in this chapter -Shea Butter

Harry

The next potions class I get paired with Malfoy. We're making vertaserum. Quite hard. Draco stirrs the ingredients while I read out the instructions. "Powdered moonstone," I tell Draco "Huh?" He looks up and I can see the pain in his eyes.  
"Powdered moonstone," I repeat He nods and goes to find it. He grabs the bottle off of Luna's desk and starts to walk back, but walks into a table and the vile goes flying. The bottle gets hurled right at me. I cover my face and the powder gets all over my trousers. "Bloody hell," I yell at Malfoy and try to brush the stuff off.  
He looks away and the teacher comes running towards me. "You'll need to change," The teacher says hurriedly "That stuff is poisonous" I glare at Draco but he's found a sudden interest in his hands. "Draco, take Harry to your room and give him a spare pair of trousers," The professor says to Draco and my dismays. "Why me," complains Draco "You're the one who spilled it!" I exclaim Malfoy groans and walks out of the room with me on his heels.

...  
The more uncomfortable Malfoy is the more I'm smiling. Malfoy is searching through his trunk to find a pair of less dirty trousers. "I don't have any trousers," Malfoy says exasperatedly and throws his arms in the air.  
"If you weren't so clumsy we wouldn't be in this position in the first place," I say and cross my arms. He looks at me with a deathly stare and says "Shut up Harry,"  
I gasp and he looks confused "You said my first name!" I exclaim.  
"No, I didn't," "Yes, Draco you did," "No, I did not," He says and moves to tower over me. I stare into his dark grey eyes and make a quick decision, I place my hand on the back of his neck, pull him down, and kiss him. At first, he just stands there but gradually he kisses back. He pulls away and attempts to give me another death-glare. But a giggle escapes his mouth. Malfoy giggling! He settles down and looks into my eyes. I smile, and he presses his lips once more to mine. I wrap my arms around his waist and he runs his fingers through my hair. He pushes me down on the bed and stands above me smiling, before reaching down and cupping my face with one of his hands. He delicately places a kiss on my lips, and I pull him down so he's on top of me.  
"It's taken you two long enough," Someone states from behind Draco. "Blaise!" Draco yells "Professor asked me to come find you two," He says "I didn't mean to interrupt your snogging session,"  
Draco stands up and mutters something under his breath, and immediately Blaise is bound with ropes. "Hey," Blaise screams. Malfoy sits down on the bed and closes his eyes, completely ignoring the screaming Blaise. I scoot closer and he grabs my hand. He shuts the curtains around the bed cutting off Blaise's view of us. We stare at each other for a moment before he looks down and starts picking the fabric of his sweater. "What about Ginny?" He asks quietly "What about Astoria?" I remark He sighs "Do you really want to know about Astoria?"  
"Yes,"  
"She...She and I were only dating to show to my dad that I wasn't gay," "Why do you need your dad's approval anyway?"  
He doesn't answer. The room is silent. Wait. I open the curtain to reveal that Blaise is gone, and the ropes are cut in half.  
"We have a problem," I tell Malfoy.

Draco

We chase after Blaise. He runs fast, but we run faster. I look over at Harry, sweat dripping down his face. He looks so hot. I still can't grasp the idea that he might actually like me back. "Wait," I say and he stops running,  
"What if we beat him to tell..." He understands what I'm trying to say.  
"Only Ginny and Astoria," He says,  
"Don't tell them about..." I motion between us. He nods, and we go our separate ways. How can I break up with the young girl? It would break her heart. I shake my head. I will not let Astoria Greengrass from going after my dream.


	7. Breakups

Thank all for reading this crappy story, I wish you the best of luck.-Shea Butter

Harry

I stroll down the corridor searching for Blaise. Classes just ended for the day so the halls are jam-packed. I veer left and see Blaise standing on a staircase banister with students crowding around him.

"Your own GOLDEN BOY is-" I catch him right in time. I fire a stunning spell which knocks him onto the stairs below. I walk up to him and whisper in her ear "Not now, not ever," I walk away with my head held high, but bump into Hagrid which knocks me to the ground.

"'Arry, m'boy," He helps me to my feet.

"Thanks, but I can't really talk,"

"Course y'can let's go for tea shall we," He puts his hand on my shoulder and starts to lead me towards his hut, but I shrug out of his grip. I start running, desperate to find Ginny. I run through the corridor frantically searching for the redhead. No Trace. I sit down on a windowsill and rest my head on my knees.

"Hi Harry," someone calls out from behind me. I turn around to see Ginny running towards me. She tries to kiss me but I shrug away.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

"For what?" She says, confusedly

"I mean you're great and all, but I've found someone else," She looks both shocked and appalled at the same time.

"Wh..who is she?" She says, holding back tears.

"He actually,"

"S...S...So you're gay?" She asks.

"Kind of, I'm bi," She comes close and hugs me. Not the reaction I was expecting.

"It's okay," She sniffs and walks away.

DRACO

I find Astoria by the Slytherin common room. I tap her on the shoulder. She turns around and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Babe," she says seductively and the girls behind her giggle. '

I push her away and she looks confused.

"We're over," I tell her and walk away.

 **So i've been listining to a lot of musicals lately, Like Be More Chill, and Hamilton... Just putting that out there**


	8. Hickeys?

Okay this chapter is just complete smut between Draco and Harry, feel free to read and your heart will be full again, or, was it ever full before?

Regardless, ..., wow I do really say regardless a lot. Okay, enough elongated authors note. On with the story.

Harry

I sent Draco a note, telling him to meet me in the room of requirement.

( _DON'T HATE ME IF THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT PLACE OR WHATEVER_ )

I had a house-elf make dinner, and I put out flower petals all over the conveniently placed bed. I hear the door creak open and a blonde-figure enters. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around the taller boys neck.

"You're looking handsome today," I whisper into his ear.

He blushes, then presses his lips against mine. He kisses fiercely, and I kiss back with equal ferocity. I wrap my arm around his waist and he opens his mouth. I start to bite his lip and I hear him moan. I smile and break the kiss and lead him over to the table in the center of the room. We eat in silence. After we're done he excuses himself and heads to the washroom. I take the time to set out his favorite, blueberry scones, and earl grey tea. He sits back down at the table and smiles a wide gorgeous smile. "How did you know?"

"I may have watched during meals and such..." I admit

He laughs, this elegant, breathful and totally honest laugh. I would make that a mixtape and listen to that sound every day if I could. He bites into a scone and chews slowly for a moment. I follow suit. He puts his down on his plate and walks over to me. He sits on my lap and brushes my bangs out of my eyes, and smiles. He delicately places his lips against mine, and I close my eyes. He puts his hand in my hair and starts to ruffle it and I start to kiss more passionately. I open my eyes, stand up and guide us to the bed, all while being paraded with kisses. He sits on the bed and I lie down. Then without warning sits on me. Right on my hard-on. I tense and flip over. He gets off of me and kisses me on the back of my neck. He rolls over and starts running his fingers through my hair. Before I know it, my eyes are closing and the world goes black.

Draco

Once Harry falls asleep I wander over to a dresser where an abandoned notebook lays. I pick it up and find a pen on the nightstand. I sit at the table and start to write. Not really thinking about what I'm writing, very unlike me. I guess Harry, MY BOYFRIEND has that kind of effect on me. I like that, Harry Potter, _My boyfriend_. I'm never going to get used to that. I finish what I'm writing and look it over.

IF YOU EVER LEAVE ME

1\. I would kill myself, I would blame it on myself and never be able to live with that.

2\. I would go crazy, I would never be able to live in a world without you...

After my Dad went to Azkaban for being a death eater my mom hired a therapist. He would always tell me to write out my feelings, I always thought that was bullshit advice. Now I see the use in that.

Harry

Around 5 am I wake up next to a peacefully sleeping Draco. I kiss his forehead lightly and get out of bed. I stretch for a split second before scribbling him a note and rushing out to my quittich practice. By the time I arrive everyone else is already there, staring at me.

"There's no way we can win if you miss practice," Ron scolds,

"Sorry captain," I say sarcastically and give him a little bow. He whacks me over the head with his glove and smirks.

His smile disappears as he notices something.

"Is that a hickey," He asks suspiciously. I look down at my neck to find a dark red circle. Everyone on the team starts laughing. I blush and run off to the showers.

 **Well that about sums the 'smut' chapter up, I hope I didn't dissapoint.** **-Shea Butter**


	9. The big ask

I'm so sorry. There will be another one coming soon. I have been so inactive because my computer broke and I had to get it fixed. The HP people were being stubborn. So I'm back. I'll probably be posting one chapter a day because this is pre-written, but I go to sleep away camp for 2 months so... On with the story

-Shea Butterrr

The Sadie Hawkins dance is coming up in a few days since neither Draco nor I am girls the Sadie Hawkins part doesn't really apply to us. We haven't gone public yet and the dance will be the first time. I haven't seen much of him lately and it's slightly worrying. He's ignoring me in classes and I can't find him in the halls.

...

"Are you asking anyone?"

We're sitting in the common room studying for the owls when Ron looks up and asks the aforementioned.

"Well..."

"Who is she?" He prods

"Um..."

"Ooh let me guess,"

"No!" I say a little harshly "You're not going to like it."

"Mate whoever you like I'll learn to like," He says friendly

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"It's...Draco," I tell him

All the color drains from his face and he stares blatantly at me.

"Please tell me this is some sort of joke," He says pleading with his eyes. I stare back angrily and start to walk away but Ron runs after me.

"What about Ginny?" He calls after me

I leave the common room and go in search of Draco.

...

I turn a corner and find a crowd of people. I squirm to the front and see Astoria and Draco.

"Will you go to the dance with me?" Astoria asks.

He notices me then smiles at Astoria. I release my breath which I hadn't realized I was holding. Draco couldn't do that, he wouldn't. But to my surprise, he wraps his arms around her and pecks her on the lips. Nothing serious. I walk up to Draco with anger, but every step takes so much emotion by the time I reach him I'm on the verge of tears. We hold eye contact for a split second before I run out of there.

As i say again I am dearly sorry for this chapter, but it had to be done 


	10. Warewolf?

I rewrote this at like 10 pm for a while. Please like this. I won't be posting on Healing sun for a bit because this is prewritten ish. I've been having mental issues and a lot of anxiety lately so spare me the hate. I know no ones probably reading this but whatever. If you are. Drop a like and a comment! I hope you like this. Also, Any suggestions for one-page prompts or music are wanted thanks for reading. -Shea Butter

... Draco ...

I thought revenge would have felt sweet but when I kissed Astoria the only thought that was going through my mind was how hurt the goofy, sweet, dark-haired boy with the lightning-shaped scar had looked. It took all of my willpower not to chase after him.

I sit in my normal seat in the great-hall next to Pansy and Crabbe. I glance at the Griffindor table scanning for Harry only to find that he's not there. I look around to try and locate Harry but he's nowhere to be found. I excuse myself from dinner and race up the staircases towards the Griffindor common room. Three first kids are leaving, they give me strange looks but I slide in after them. I've never been inside of the common room before, it's awfully red. I head up the first staircase to the left. It brings me to a room with four maroon four-poster beds on one of which sits a slightly disgruntled Neville.

"Neville," I call out

He turns around and almost jumps out of bed, despite being one of the saviors of the wizarding world he is very susceptible to simple frights.

"You-you shouldn't be here," He stutters

I look around and notice a discarded piece of parchment on the floor by a bed. I walk over to it and delicately examine it.

"This Harry's?" I ask Neville who seemed to be struggling with one of the buttons on his trousers.

"Yeah probably," He responds not paying attention. I open fully it and many names appear one in particular that catches my attention. Harry Potter alone in the courtyard. I know what this is.

"Is this the Marauders Map?" I look over at Neville expecting him to have an answer but he just shrugs.

"You've lived with Harry for eight years and you don't know?" I say skeptically.

"Never seen it before," He responds and goes back to tying his shoes. I drop the map on the bed before going to find Harry.

Harry POV

I sit in the courtyard with my back against the concrete watching the full moon go behind the clouds. I'm supposed to be in dinner right now but I don't have an appetite. I hear leaves rustling behind me and my hand immediately flies to my wand. Malfoy comes into view and walks shyly towards me. He stops a few meters short and stands silently waiting for me to say something. But I don't. He doesn't get to take my heart, crush it, and expect me to talk to him. I've gotten hurt more times then one person could handle. The many therapists and doctors the ministry sent me to after the war were surprised I was not insane.

"Harry," He starts

"Leave me alone,"

"I'm sorry I just couldn't-" We hear a crack from the forbidden forest and turn quickly. We cautiously walk forwards making sure to be stealthy.

"I'm sorry Harry, I just couldn't burden you with me," He says quietly,

"Name one reason that I wouldn't want to be with you,"

"Nightmares, depression, death is practically my best friend, bad luck,"

"I like you anyway,"

He looks up at me, his eyes glossy and wide. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and close my eyes. His scent filling my senses, mint, lavender, honey, and chapstick. A delightful combination. Something comes up behind us and we jump away, wands at the ready. Instead, it's Filch, with his new cat Mr. Norris trailing behind.

"You two better not be out here after dark," He scolds.

"Sorry sir," Draco chimes in and I can't resist a snicker.

"Hurry along now," He says and passes by. Draco and I stand in silence for a moment before he slides his hand into mine and smiles sweetly. We slowly walk back to the castle enjoying each other's company.


	11. Broom Sticks and pillow fights

I think I'm just going to get over this and post this all in like two parts. I'm lazy. HEY third times the charm! this kept getting messed up when I tried to save it and I accidently posted it. So this is a reupdate! Thanks for coming back! -Shea Butter

harry

My head is in his lap, and he's massaging my scalp. We're laying on my bed in the Griffindor common room rather than going to lunch.

"Draco?" I ask

"hmm?" He responds and continues playing with my hair.

"Are we going to the dance together?" I ask him

He pulls my face towards his and kisses my forehead

"dance? are you implying you know how to dance?" He replies jokingly. I lightly punch him in the should+er and he laughs. God, I love his laugh. Unlike what he does in public, his laugh is honest, he has a cute little snort like he's trying to hold it together, only to burst into giggles. It is not at all what you would have expected out of an ex-death eater. He cups my face and kisses me straight on, and I melt into a smile. He continues playing with my hair and we lie in comfortable silence for a few minutes until we hear people coming. I grab my invisibility cloak and stealthily throw it over Draco, and I close the dividers.

"Harry!" Dean and Seamus call out. "Please don't tell me you missed lunch again to pleasure yourself to the thought of Malfoy, you know we can hear you at night right?"

I hear a giggle from behind me and I whisper into his ear

"Not a word from you,"

They throw open the dividers to find me fake sleeping.

"Harry cmon," Dean says and pulls me out of the bed, nearly throwing the cloak off of the blonde boy. I rub my eyes, pretending that I just woke up.

"Bloody hell Dean," I say feigning exhaustion. They drag me out of the room and pull me into an abandoned classroom.

"Close your eyes," Seamus instructs.

I cover my eyes and I hear footsteps behind me.

"Turn around," He says. I do as instructed and find Ginny, wearing makeup and satin robes.

"will you go to the dance with me?" She asks and places her hands forcefully on my shoulders. I shrug her away.

"Ginny we're not dating and we're not going to the dance together," I exclaim and try to shrug past her.

"But I thought-"

"No." I cut her off and walk away, although not showing it, feeling bad about the scene that just occurred.

Draco- a few hours later

I walk into my dormitory and plop down on my bed.

"Ow," Something squeaks from under me.

I jump up and shakily point my wand towards where I was sitting. A head pokes out of nowhere, and I sigh as I recognize it's Harry.

He comes out fully from the cloak and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me towards the bed.

"what are you doing here golden boy?" I say and poke him in the cheek. He cringes at the old nickname but pulls me into his lap.

"I missed you," He says caringly.

"Its been like two hours,"

"And...?"

"You're ridiculous,"

On that, he pulls one of my pillows off my bed and smacks me in the face with it.

"Oh, you want to go there?" I ask and he releases me from his bear hug.

"I already went there," He says, and chases after me with the pillow.

I grab a larger pillow from Blaise's bed and block his attack. Instead of using his pillow, he tackles me against my bed, straddling me and pinning me against the bed.

"You cheated!" I exclaim.

He kisses me on the lips and I try to deepen it but he pulls back.

"I gotta get back to the dorm before Ron and 'Mione realize I'm gone," He says and grabs my broom.

He winks at me and flies out of the open window. I stare into the distance long after he's gone. I smile to no one in particular and scramble to find a piece of parchment and a quill.

 _If you ever leave me_

Harry

I'm walking back to the room after dinner, and stop when I hear my name being called. I turn around to find a redhead holding a broom.

I make eye contact with him, then look at the broom, then look at him in confusion.

"Care to explain why you have a certain D. Malfoy's broom hidden under your bed?" I feel my face starting to get red and I attempt to cover it with my hands.

"Is there something you've been meaning to tell us?" He scolds.

I shake my head violently and blush even harder. He warily places it on my bed and carefully backs away. Not losing eye contact with me.

Yeah so this...Uhh im going to try and post one of this story every day or so, but it's a lot easier than the other because this is partially pre written. Where as healing sun is just come up with shit when it happens. Thank you so much for getting to the end of the story, leave a comment because that's about all that keeps motivating me. Thanks for getting to the end 3-Shea butter.


	12. Alone

Hey so updating takes a lot longer than expected... Thanks for coming back.

Draco

After double potions with the Gryffindors, I hide behind a column and pull Harry behind it. He looks surprised for a split second but smiles at me as he recognizes who it is.

"Hi," He says to me and kisses me. His arms fall around my waist and he pulls me towards his body. One of my hands is around his face, and the other is pulling lightly at his hair. I can feel his tongue against my lips and I open my mouth, allowing entrance. He moans slightly, but he doesn't pull away. He tastes exactly like Harry. Comfort, mint, and treacle tart. It makes me feel exhilarated. We pull away for air and he bends down a little, he kisses down my neck and stops at the spot right above my collarbone and sucks. He comes back up for a quick kiss on the lips, which he tries to deepen but I pull away. I wipe my lips on my sleeve and take a ragged breath.

"Bloody hell, there was a reason I pulled you over, not just to make out," I exclaim and he smiles, looping his hand through mine.

"Wear a green bowtie tomorrow," I say and poke him in the chest.

"Okay," He says smiling and kisses me on the cheek.

"Okay," I say and release myself from his hold.

"The lake? Midnight?" He asks out of the blue.

I nod and continue on my way, adjusting my robes to cover the newly forming hickey on my shoulder.

Harry-Shortly before midnight.

I don't know what I was thinking when I asked him to meet me at the lake. What if he doesn't show up? What if he gets caught? He doesn't have an invisibility cloak, He'd get in so much trouble. What if someone sees us? He already has a bad public image due to the ex-death eater shit. What if his parents disown him? What if we get kicked out of school. I'd have nowhere to go. The Grimmauld place does belong to me since his death, but there are too many bad memories. I could go to the Weasleys, but they have so much bad stuff with the Malfoy's. Ron. Oh no. He's going to be so mad. Why hadn't this occurred to me before this? He hates Malfoy. I don't want to lose my best friend.

Draco.

I grab my black jacket and throw it over my shoulders. Feeling so giddy at the thought of alone time with Harry. I check my watch to see 11:54. Six minutes. I throw on my trainers and grab my wand. I sneak out of the room only to find Pansy and Blaise sitting in the common room.

"Where are you going?" She scolds. They stand up and cross their arms across their chests. I have no answer for them. The truth isn't an option so I stand in silence.

"Where are you going?" She repeats. I look her straight in the eyes giving her a look of begging.

"Not going to tell me are you?" She replies. I sprint forwards and shrug past them. I run down the halls as fast as my legs will take me and reach the lake a few minutes late, but Harry still hasn't shown.

A few minutes pass, and I start to question whether he's going to show up. I start to pick at my nails, ruffle my hair, untie and tie my shoes, just to get away from the thoughts that he's a no show. Another fifteen minutes pass, with me staring at my watch hopelessly.

He's gone, isn't he? He decided that he doesn't like me anymore and he ditched me for the Weasel. The Weasel is perfect for him, pretty, young, nice family, easy. It's obvious he's in love with her, I'm just a pawn. I knew something like this couldn't be true. It was probably all a dumb prank, see Malfoy put his heart on the line and get completely humiliated in front of the whole school. Make his reputation even worse. Humiliate his family, make him feel worthless. After all that I've done, I deserve it, I really do. I'm a horrible person. How could I ever think someone as perfect as Harry would get over the fact that I tried to murder him and forgive me? How could I ever be so so stupid to think that he would love me? No one loves me. My parents only care about heritage, grandchildren, and passing on the Malfoy family legacy. Even Astoria, the pureblood girl marriage arranged by my parents doesn't love me. She's afraid of me. Everyones afraid of me. I don't have friends. They were only friends with me in the first place because of our parents. I should learn to be okay with that. I don't deserve love. I don't deserve to feel happy after all the happiness that I've stolen from others. I feel like I should be sad right now, but I just feel numb. Numb at the lack of love, numb at the world. Alone.

I start to walk back to the castle in the cold, wrapping my arms around myself for warmth. The thick winter coat doing little to help ease the cold inside. I'm about halfway there when I feel the first tear fall onto my icy skin. I know I'm about to break down, so I run as fast as I can up the slippery steps. I'm almost to the top when I feel my body falling. I tripped on something and it feels as though my body reacted in slow motion. When I hit the ground I'm bawling. Not out of pain, but that I couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm sobbing and holding myself tight when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. I flip around shakily and recognize the green emerald eyes. He sits next to me on the ground and wordlessly pulls me into his chest. He kisses me on the forehead and I hiccup. He pulls my face up and looks me straight in the eyes, pushing my hair out of my face.

"I'm always here for you," He says and pulls me into an embrace. I reply with a sniffle, my nose quickly becoming stuffy. We sit like this silently for a few minutes until I stop crying. He pulls me up and loops his arm around my waist.

"Wanna just head back to the castle?" He asks me tenderly. I nod and lean my head on his shoulder, as we slowly make our way up to the castle. When we can see the silhouette of the grand building in the distance, he stops walking, pulling me to a halt. He takes my hands in his and kisses my palms. Warmth flowing through my body.

"I am always here if you need me," He says fondly "I can't stop you from getting hurt, but I'm always here to help when you're hurting,"

Harry-A couple hours before the dance

I have never spent so much time on my hair. Period. I spend over an hour trying to fix my crazy mane, but it refused to be tamed. I try to do a curl in the front kind of mohawk thing but I end up looking like a lion, and 'Mione has to help me fix it.

"Have you even touched a brush?" She asks while combing through my locks. I growl and swat away the brush.

"For your information, I have," I counter "Once in the first year,"

She laughs and resumed combing my hair despite my discomfort.

"Will you please tell me who you're going with?" She asks for the fifteenth time today.

I turn around and the brush gets stuck in my hair. I wince and pull it out of my hair, making it frizzy.

"Not a chance,"

Draco

"Draco," Pansy scolds.

"Draco," She repeats.

"Draco, stop messing with your robes," She says to me and takes my hands in hers. "It's not like you're going with you know who, you can calm down,"

I stare at her blankly and turn away back to the mirror and smooth my hands across my top.

She comes up behind me and I stare at her reflection icily. Her eyes widen and she covers her mouth with her hands.

"Bloody hell! You're going with him aren't you!" She exclaims.

"was it that obvious?" She squeals and tightly embraces me

"Don't mess up the robes," I comment, which only makes her squeeze me even tighter. I start to squirm, and she lets go.

"Sorry!" She exclaims, her voice two octaves higher than normal. She flattens down her purple silk dress and leaves me alone in the dorm. I hear rustling behind me, and turn around, expecting Pansy, but no ones there.

"Harry, show yourself," I command.

Suddenly, a head bobs in the air in front of me, and I smile. Even though I can't see his robes, he looks stunning. His dark brown hair is curled and framed around his face, giving him a kind of bang look. He's still wearing the glasses but he cleaned them, and you can see his bright emerald eyes.

"I see you've discovered an incredible muggle contraption called showering now have you?" I say playfully.

He blushes slightly and kisses me on the cheek.

"You look hot," He says to me.

I hold in a giggle. Being around him makes me feel intoxicated, intoxicated on happiness and life.

"Is that all you could come up with?"

He scowls like a toddler, and I have to give in.

"You do too,"

His face brightens up again and he laughs freely.

"Mione is waiting to take pictures, see you in a few," He says and disappears under the cloak.

"Bye potter," I whisper into the air.

Harry

"You sure your date is going to come," Hermione says worriedly. The dance started just a few minutes ago but Hermione is anxious as always. I give her a nod and lean against the door frame of the great hall.

"Cmon 'Mione," Ron says impatiently "I'm sure they'll be here soon, let's just go in,"

"Are you sure?" Hermione asks me.

"I'm sure," I tell her, and they walk in. She looks back but Ron pulls her forward, making sure she doesn't let her mother hen instincts take over. I check my watch and scan the crowd. Disappointed to not find the blonde-haired git. I receive glares from passersby and read them as 'the chosen one can't even get a date, pathetic' I feel a tap on my shoulder and spin around almost knocking them over.

"No need to murder me," Malfoy says into my ear, "Not yet at least,"

Draco looks beautiful. Rather than his blonde hair slicked back with gel as it usually is, he let it run free, tucking it in behind his ears. He has a slight blush that compliments his pale skin. His robe vest is the Slytherin green, and his jacket and pants are a pale grey, as well as his bowtie.

I smile self-consciously at him and he puts out his hand. I gratefully take it and he gives me a giddy smile.

"You look beautiful" I whisper into his ear.

"I know," He says and we enter the ballroom.

Sorry for leaving it on a cliff hanger but it had to be done. Thanks as always for reading, thanks for making it to the end. -Shea Butter, Aka the author who always procrastinates,


	13. Ron the dickhead

I suck so bad at updating, special thank you to CJS for telling me she'll murder me if I don't write...at 1 am, so it may or may not be 3 am and I wrote over 1.3k. Tell me some more music suggestions in the reviews since listening to rain by Ben Platt on repeat is going to get old real fast.

 **Draco**

We enter the great hall slowly, arms linked, and all eyes fly to us. The ballroom looks breathtaking. The ceiling has been transformed from average starry night to vivid constellations. I can pick out my birthright, the dragon. The long tables have been exchanged for round ones and now rest along the edges to make room for the giant dance floor. The theme of the dance was Sadie Hawkings, hence the room is decorated in a more feminine manner, the primary colors being pink and green, which looks unnatural with the gloomy November outdoors. He gives and waves to everyone, and I blush a deep red. He looks unbothered by all the attention, but I'm not used to it. We walk over to the dance floor, where most of my friends are situated, and I give them a brief wave. As soon as we step on, waltz music comes on, and he looks panicked. I grab his arm and place my hands around his waist.

"How come you get to be the man?" He protests with a pout.

"Because I'm the one who knows how to waltz," I reply and twirl him. He scowls but gives in, the rest of the dance goes fluidly, him ever slightly stepping on my toes. When the song ends he pulls me towards his friends, who are standing and talking in a cluster by the stage. I stand firmly and pull him to a halt.

"I am NOT spending the dance talking to your griffin-dork friends," I revolt. He silently pleads, but I cross my arms across my chest and stand my ground.

"Fine, your friends first and then mine after," I roll my eyes and pull him over to the left-hand side of the dance floor, where my friends are situated. When we're almost there I notice out of the corner of my eye the weasel and granger making their way over to us.

"Harry," The weasel calls out.

They make their way towards us when I notice their hands are entwined. When had that happened? I prided myself on knowing all of the action in Hogwarts, no matter how dull. How could something as obvious as this get under my grasp?

"Hey, guys," Harry responds cheerfully.

Harry goes over to the weasel and makes small talk, but I stand back, not sure how to interact with them after everything I've done.

 **Harry**

"Are you sure you can trust him?" Ron asks worriedly

"What?" I say shocked.

"He's a DEATH EATER Harry, how do you know he's not doing this to humiliate you, sell your information maybe?" I'm speechless. None of my friends ever really discussed what happened in the war, we all suffered greatly and rather than reliving it buried the feelings. Let the past remain the past. I hear shuffling behind me and turn around to see Draco stone cold. He looks frozen, not in shock, but underlying anger.

"What did you just say about me weasel?" Draco takes a step forwards and Ron shrinks behind me. His words feel icy, his eyes are narrowed and his posture is rigid. Ron definitely struck a nerve. I try to take one of Draco's hands from his crossed arms but he shrugs me off.

"No, enlighten me, Weasel, repeat what you just said for all of us to hear,"

Ron's gaze shifts to Draco's shoes and he says something to the floor inaudibly.

"What was that?" Draco repeats and leans in closer. I can't take this any longer. I grab Draco's shoulders pull him away from Ron and towards his friends.

"Sit," I command. He does as told but doesn't look me in the eyes.

I walk back over to Ron, who seems to be glued in place.

"What's your bloody problem, Ron?" I whisper shout.

"He's a death ea-"

"No" I interrupt, "I'm done with your bullshit, go over and apologize for being a complete arse, I'm sick of you acting like a four-year-old,"

Hermione and Ron look up at me worriedly. I never curse, so when I do they know it's bad. Ron shrugs and walks scurried over to Draco. I turn to Hermione and sigh.

"It's never going to end is it?"

"What do you mean?" She asks confusedly

"The war,"

 **Draco**

Both my friends and Harry's sit down at one table, much to my dismay. The glasses are made of thick material, although it doesn't do much to reassure me it won't break in my grip. His apology was insincere, empty, cold, worthless. I don't forgive him. I stare down the weasel for a majority of the time, he talks to Seamus and ignores me, but I can see the panic in his eyes. I dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand but don't realize until I'm drawing blood. My hand starts stinging and I look around panicked, unsure of what to do with the wound, so I make a break for the bathroom. I all but run out of the hall, ignoring the stares, throw open the door and lock it behind me. I wrap my hand in tissues and douse my face in the water. The cold water refreshes me and I can feel my temperature dropping back to normal. I look in the mirror before I go but it lures me in. I look at my reflection, is this really who I've become? My hair is chaotic and my tuxedo is rumpled. How could I have let that get to me? I get called a death eater all the time, in the hallways at school, out in the streets, even my fellow classmates. I never have such a vile reaction. I feel angry with myself, why couldn't I have let that slide? I wanted to make a good impression on Harry's friends. I ruined it. Just like I ruined my life by becoming a death eater in the first place. I roll up my rumpled sleeve to reveal my tattoo and let out a sob. I'm never going to be liked, never going to be enough for Harry. He most likely doesn't even want to date me, just doing it to pitty me. Just like everyone else does. Everyone either hates me or pitties me. The loner kid with no loving family, death eater. At this point, I'm sobbing into my arms. I curl up in a corner of the room and bawl. I'm never going to feel love. I'm so out of it that I don't hear when the door opens, and only realize there's someone in here when I feel arms snaking around me. I glance up and see emerald green eyes staring back at me.

"Deep breathes," He coaxes and starts counting rhythmically. I stop crying and start hiccuping and I rest my head on his shoulder. Safe.

Thank you for reading this far, as always review, like, follow, however that stuff works if you want to read more. Thinking of writing a book too so we'll see how that goes.

Peace out-Shea Butter, 3:23 am chronicles. Love you guys.


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